Nowadays I generally lose at work playing Wolfenstein. Which is good, as losing is much more taxing psychologically and I seem to need the practice. I don't seem to deal well with the constant frustration that being on the losing side presents; I'd like to be glacially indifferent to it and hence mentally at liberty to react to the situations that present themselves, regardless of how much or little hope of success they might offer. That's what I'd like; that's not what happens. And yes, my present losing streak offers me plenty of opportunity to practice, although it's really damnably hard to keep a lucid sense of your priorities and options when you're getting shot, blown up or incinerated, and I don't seem to be making a lot of headway with the lucidity to date or any of that very fast either.

I suppose I tend to think (hope) that this sort of thing has broader applicability. If you get down to it, life isn't really something you're in a position to win per se, so you're called upon to keep a clear head and be judicious in picking your battles in a broadly similar way. The war isn't really lost, so to speak, but its overall outcome is irrelevant in the same way it would be if it was; your objective is to simply to tip the outcomes of those battles you happen to be placed to influence. Generally I seem to waste a lot of time thinking about the progress of this figurative war, when it's really none of my concern, and I don't really have the time to waste, regrettably. So I'm hoping losing at Wolfenstein will steel me against this sort of distraction.