After an unusually long conversation with Stacii I can go to sleep tonight with the dubious satisfaction of knowing (as opposed to merely suspecting as I have done for what feels like half my life) that ultimately I'm something of a cold fish., Not that I really mind. Well, what are you going to do. It's nice to be able to put things in perspective.
Yesterday evening was nice. I went and saw the Swinburne graduate exhibition. The work was quite impressive; I'm going to try and go back tomorrow. Somehow. But anyway I was only there for an hour, I spent the rest of the evening in pleasant company, ate nice food and stayed out altogether too late for a work night. I seem to be having a good week.
It's really not going to matter in retrospect that I'm cold-blooded and reptilian. As long as I do the right things. As long as I leave behind something valid. I'll be able to discard the specific circumstances of my emotional life like so much refuse. I'm sitting here listening to the Princess Mononoke theme song just now. If someday I create something as lovely as that, I won't care in retrospect that my heart is arid; and other people will care or not at their own option. But I, not that I care terribly at the moment, but I won't give two figs, and that would be nice indeed. |